Can someone help me translate this love poem from my wife Russian to English please?
Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at
4:19 am
Ultrastooge TFP asked:
My mail order Russian bride of 3 weeks keeps writing poetry to me… But I have no clue what it says. She just looks at me and keeps writing. She writes in English alphabet, so I can’t get the meaning through an online translator bot. I can read it though, and it sounds beautiful.
Ya plyuyu v tvoyu rozhu
Ya tebya ne hochoo
Vi staraya shlyuha
Ya vas razvedoo… Eely oob-you 
(She even puts smiley faces on her poetry, isn’t she wonderfull?
Thanks for your help.
No related posts.
Tagged with: English Alphabet • Love Poem • Thanks For Your Help
Filed under: Languages
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Sorry,
Ask her to write it in the russian alpabet, then you will be able to use translators
she wants to have sex.
Ha ha ha ha ha
OK, this question must be a joke.
Anyhow, here’s the translation:
I spit in your face
I do not want you
You are an old whore
I’ll divorce [alternative: con you] or kill you
Not sure of the complete translation but it says something about you having a small pecker and she has to fight the urge to not laugh in your face. But like I said, I am not absolutely certain of my translation as I only took one semester of Russian language and that was about 30 years ago. So I might not have hit the target, which is evidently what you did too in regards to her, miss the target.
Ya plyuyu v tvoyu rozhu
Ya tebya ne hochoo
Vi staraya shlyuha
Ya vas razvedoo… Eely oob-you
Loosely translated to English means
I received your photo’s
The marriage is off
You hideous swine
I’m keeping the $9,000…Get bent loser
She can’t spell. This is what I got..& by the way….she does NOT love you. Divorce her asap!!
I spit in your physiognomy
I you not хочоо
You the old whore
I you разведоо… Its ооб-ёу
Here’s a tranlste website. Make sure you choose russian to english, then copy & past russian into it.
online translator
Dear friend
Sorry that I should say to you bad news, but this poem is not good as you think
Originally I am Russian, that is why I fully understood the poem
My translation:
I spit to your face (mug),
I do not want you,
you are old whore,
last phrase contains slang word – razvedu – разведу – means – I will took your money and give you nothing back
you can ask anybody also to translate to compare
It is better she will write to you the poem in russian and after that you will translate for free here:
Compare that I write it in original Russian
Я плюю в твою рожу
я тебя не хочу
Вы старая шлюха
Я вас разведу
It is possible she wrote in alphabet that you can’t translate in online
Sorry, take care
I write you nice Russian Poem to remind you of home, da? You not like Healthy Russian Farmgirl? I try to make you happy, but my English not so good, nyet?
BTW, I am not Two for One deal, you should tell your roommate, da?
Wow I totally agree with her. It’s only that I can’t say it in such a fashionable way, maybe that’s why I don’t get so much attention from you as her.
Aha Sergeyovitch I too am a Russian bear and I can translate your brides poem of love. It is written Cyrillic polyamide bakelite (more commonly known as reject alphabetti spaghetti) from the Steppes in the North. translation is as follows
Your face is like the grinding of rocks in a landslide
your breath like the flatulant dog
your dog has a bigger dick than you
and it is better in bed
my love
chorus
Kalinka kalinka kalinka my dear
pour another bucket of vodka in my ear
Send her back to the Urals…see if you can trade her for a tractor(a John Dear?). This poem sounds like a lot of borscht.
Hold on……. “Your wife”?
I will be right back!
now what did I miss?
hey can you guess what i am trying to tell you??
я хочу Вас столь плохо, каждый раз что я думаю, что Вы онлайн, это заставляет мои штанишки хотеть понизиться. я – так horney прямо сейчас. я хочу, чтобы Вы шлепнули меня и тянули мои волосы.